9 Guys I’d Never Date.

Ironically the guy on the left is my Fiance, the guy on the right is also a guy I don’t dislike, sorry guys haha!

I think I’ve met pretty much men of all types and walks of life. Some are great human beings that I’ve become friends with and I’ve even got engaged to one of the male species. There are some however that I’ve always steered away from romantically.

1. The ‘Me’ Man. If it’s the first time you’ve met this man I can guarantee you’ll leave with enough information about him to last you a lifetime. Everybody is entitled to talk about themselves, how else are you going to get to know someone?! But talking about yourself  for three hours straight is not only rather impressive, it’s also rather irritating. You’ll never hear the end of how smart, attractive, loveable and fantastic this man is.

2. The ‘You’re lucky to have me’ Man. I don’t know what it is about these men but they seem to be missing piece of the puzzle that is the female. When have you ever, in your life got anywhere with anyone if all you do is talk about how many girls would love to be sat on this date with you?  The only thing he’d be lucky to have is me waiting till the end of said date.

3. The ‘I need to be mothered’ Man. A man that’s close to his mother is lovely. By no means though are you going to be mothered by me. In fact even your mum shouldn’t be mothering you now that you’ve moved out, you’re a grown ass man! Oh you’ve got some laundry to be done? I will happily draw you a map to the washing machine if you’ve stupidly misplaced it. That’s no problem at all.

4. The ‘Takes longer to get ready than you’ Man. There is something that has happened over the past few years. Men have become, pretty. Take pride in your appearance as much as you like, but for me personally there’s nothing less masculine than me having to wait an hour for you to pluck your eyebrows and paint your nails.

5.  The ‘I WILL be the drunkest guy here’ Man. Don’t you love a man with ambition? Me too, just maybe not when it’s to always be the most wasted person at any event where drink is involved. You can shuffle around that dance floor as much as you like, once you’re done feel free to shuffle yourself out of the door.

6. The ‘Mysterious’ Man. Unlike the ‘Me’ man you’ll be left wondering if you even know this mans name. The ability to share anything with you is obviously a little bit too much for this man. To him he probably thinks he’s being mysterious after reading that girls like it in a NUTS magazine or something. In reality, we’re wondering whether there is actually much going on in that head of his at all. That or, if he’s a murderer.

7. The ‘No manners in sight’ Man. This is my biggest pet hate. If you think a member of staff is there to serve you and therefore manners aren’t needed you’re truly mistaken.  If someone holds a door open for you, you simple say thank you. If somebody talks to you, you at least act like you’re listening to what they’re saying!

8. The ‘Tribal’ Tattoo Man. Nothing tells me you’re not very good at making sensible life choices if you have a tribal sleeve. If you’re part of a tribe please put me back in my place and tell me all about it, if not, what the hell were you thinking?! Tattoo’s are meant to mean something, all yours means is you got pissed one night and a had a ‘bright’ idea.

9. The ‘I don’t own any tops in the summer’ Man. We live in the UK, there is never really a need to be completely topless in this country. Yet I’m not against the odd topless guy in the privacy of his home or the beach etc. There are however a large group of males in this country that at the slightest sign of sun lose all tops. I can imagine these men even going as far as going out for a meal without  top on, they have such pride.